Before You Get Off the Hamster Wheel to Become An Entrepreneur: Get Over Your Fear of Failure

Posted on December 29, 2014 by MarleneMB

Pet Hamster Holding A Blank Sign — Image from launchalegacy.com.

“All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.”~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“How do you get off the hamster wheel?” This was a question someone posed to me this weekend. He stopped by my table at one of my book signing events. He asked me about the content of my book Living a Diamond Life, A Life of Purpose: Diamond Cutters. I told him that I wrote the book to encourage others to find a meaningful purpose to life; then, surround themselves with mentors and coaches to help them live that life.

We were discussing the fact that so many people stay in jobs that they disliked. This leaves them feeling unfulfilled in these positions. He said he admires people, similar to his friend, that are pursuing their passions. He explained that his friend had a lucrative practice as an attorney. His friend left the law business to become an entrepreneur in an area that involves his passion. His friend’s saved money from his law practice. Therefore, he does not worry about earning a large income in this new endeavor.

This gentleman told me that he personally trades in options. He also owns a rental property as added income. He felt that he could not pursue what he would like to do (he never did say exactly what that was). He needed the security of having enough money in the bank to sustain his lifestyle. I reminded him what we do in life is a choice. Whatever we choose to do, or not do, comes with consequences. We have to decide if we can live with those consequences.

My good friend Dr. Larry Benovitz, a psychiatrist and author of There is No ReDo: Strategies for a Lifetime, once said: “Many people are living behind prison bars they created themselves.” I thought about this quote as I spoke with my visitor. It didn’t seem that he was afraid of taking certain risks. He was trading in options…you can make a lot of money one day and lose it the next. Yet, I did sense a fear of failure or of the unknown from him in our conversation.

Early that day, I had listened to one of Tony Robbins’ sessions on Personal Power. Tony encourages the listeners to embrace failure. We should not be afraid of failing. As we push towards achieving our goals, we may experience failures. We should learn from them and get back in the game. If we don’t push pass fear of failure, we may never experience the joys of the manifestations of our dreams into realty.

Brigette Hyacinth, Director at MBA Caribbean Organization, wrote a great LinkedIn article, Leadership Lesson: The Wisdom of Failure, that gives valuable insight on how to approach failure in our lives. I recommend that you invest the time to read the article by clicking on the title.

Back to the questions: “How do you get off the hamster wheel?” You decide to do so after you examine:

What it is you want – Vision – The End Result
Why you want it – Purpose – If you don’t have a strong why, you won’t survive the failures
How do you get there – Mission – Build a Plan with goals that have timelines and milestones
What is the impact if you do or don’t pursue this Vision

A week before he died, my dad told me he regretted not living his dream of being an artist. He reminded me that we cannot take material things and money with us. Only our life’s experiences and our relationships with people. I don’t want this regret to happen to me. I want live my life doing what I understand to be my purpose. Don’t you?

Yes, we have to be realistic that we have to take care of our basic human needs.But how much are we willing to sacrifice in order to stay behind our prison bars or stay on the hamster wheel due to fear of failure. Prison bars that may exist because we bought into what the media or others tell us is a successful life.

Why not approach life like my 86 year-old friend, Lyle, does? He told me yesterday that he is happy because he realized earlier in life that “It is my choice.” He chooses to define what happiness and success mean to him.He experiments different ways to enjoy life by learning new things and not worrying about failures. He sees failures as life’s lessons. Because of this approach he has been able to enjoy many things in life. By the way, he was captain of his high school football team, a race car driver and married to a beautiful model! Sounds like an exciting life to me.

You will not be a successful entrepreneur if you are afraid to take some risks. Things don’t always work out the way we plan them. Take each failure by learning its lesson and build a stronger Will to achieve your Vision.

Here is to your Success in 2015. Remember to Live a Diamond Life, A Life of Purpose on Invincible Monday.

Find out how I learned these tips and more from my Diamond Cutters, My Mentors and Coaches, pick up a copy of Live a Diamond Life, A Life of Purpose: Diamond Cutters today.

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Beat the P.I.P.

Posted on December 2, 2014 by MarleneMB

There is a reality show on CNBC called “The Profit” that I occasionally watch. Marcus Lemonis, the star of the show, helps struggling small businesses to improve the profit of the businesses. Marcus invests his own money into the rejuvenation of them. In the last episode I watched, Marcus is trying to help a floral business get back its footing.

One of the issues Marcus identify was that the general manager (GM) was not performing the role of the GM to the level that was expected of her. He recommended that the GM be demoted. Marcus told her what her new role was and what was expected of her. She was placed on a Performance Improvement Plan (P.I.P.). She was obviously hurt by the demotion as evident by her tears.

But what really impressed me was that she didn’t toss in the towel and quit. She stayed on and actually earned Marcus’ respect. She showed up each time with a positive attitude and did what was asked of her. In the end Marcus told her that he believed she should be the person in charge of the business at all times…even more so than the owner should be. The owner on the other hand was mostly negative throughout the episode.

As a manager, it was not pleasant for me to put an employee on a Performance Improvement Plan (P.I.P.). At this point of the decision, I found that the employee was performing his or her job way below expectation. In this case, I would work with the Human Resources representative to create a 30-60-90 day plan with measurable goals. Goals that were fair to the employee and the company.

Are you on a Performance Improvement Plan? Here is what you can do to Beat the P.I.P.

Understand what is required of you:

Review the Performance Improvement Plan with your manager to ensure you understand each goal and what is expected of you.
If there is something that is not clear to you, ask questions.
If the Human Resources representative is not present (in person, on video or on the phone) ask if you can have that person involved in the discussion.

Take it seriously:

Don’t take a P.I.P. lightly. If you want to keep the job, then seriously take stock of what you need to do to meet the goals. Create your own plan and start implementing the activities that would get you there.
Your feelings may be hurt, but this is an opportunity to show that you can rise above this low point. Put some sweat equity in. Action is what gets the job done…not sitting around and wishing things will work out.
Like the general manager in the opening story, don’t quit. Reach out to those that may be able to help you meet your goals…whether it is an existing client, a co-worker or a mentor. Be open and willing to do some of the things that they advice you to do.

Maintain Positive Attitude:

Be positive. I’ve seen so many people get put on a P.I.P. and immediately their attitudes become negative. This is not going to improve your manager’s opinion of you. It will validate that he or she is right about putting you on the P.I.P. in the first place.
Start your day off with something that inspires you to push through. I sometimes like to watch an inspirational video on YouTube or read a quick affirmation statement to get me in a great frame of mind.
Encourage others around you. The demoted general manager did not take her demotion as a defeat. Instead she maintained a positive attitude and started to encourage her peers and her direct reports. She provided positive feedback to them.

Being on a Performance Improvement Plan doesn’t mean that you cannot do the job. It simply means that you may need to make some adjustments that would move you to a higher level of performance. Just remember: understand what is required of you, take it seriously and maintain a positive attitude.

Many of my mentors have helped me and continue to help me attain my goals. Learn how they helped me in my book Live a Diamond Life, A Life of Purpose: Diamond Cutters.

I leave you with a short video that inspired me today:

GET INSPIRED – Never Give Up On Your Goals!

Remember the Diamond is within you on Timeless Tuesday!

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Relax and Enjoy It

Posted on November 25, 2014 by MarleneMB

Learning to drive at an early age in New York City was a challenge. Unfortunately, I picked up the bad habit of being an aggressive driver. I can be one of the calmest folks you meet until I get behind a steering wheel! It took me a while to learn to relax and enjoy the ride instead.

Many of us are hitting the road to visit family and friends for the Thanksgiving Holiday in the USA. If you driving to your destination, I encourage you to relax and enjoy the ride.

Here are a few tricks I’ve learned:

Audiobooks: It is amazing how time flies by when I listen to audiobooks. I love mystery stories, especially ones that keep me at the edge of my seat. Sometimes I get to where I’m going and I sit in the car just to hear the ending!

Educational CDs or Podcasts: Driving gives you a great opportunity to improve your knowledge by listening to CDs share valuable information with you. Listening the experts in my field teaches me ways to make improvements in my business. They also generate new ideas that I may implement in my workshops.

Music:
There is no way that I feel aggressive when I’m listening to Neil Diamond, Luther Vandross or my faith based songs. But if I hear certain Rock, Reggae or Rap music…Uh oh! I leave these type of music for when I’m out of the car!

Silence: There are times when I roll up the windows and simply enjoy the silence. I use this time to meditate and reflect on something that I want to better understand or master.

Leave Early: Heading out on the road with more than enough time to get to my destination, makes it less stressful for me. I don’t like being late; therefore, it makes sense for me to get a good head start to avoid being late.

Let the other guy or gal go by: If someone is riding my bumper, I no longer feel the need to let the New Yorker Marlene out! I just move over to the other lane and give them room…I also say a silent prayer for them and the rest of us on the road.

Now, I’m not saying that I have mastered being a great driver, but the more I practice these methods, the more I’m enjoying the drive. I hope these tips help you on your next drive. Drive safely!

If you don’t have a mentor or coach, learn about finding great ones. Pick up a copy of my book Live a Diamond Life, A Life of Purpose: Diamond Cutters.

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Until next time, keep Living a Diamond Life with much gratitude on Timeless Tuesday!

Wisdom Wednesday – Leadership by Fear

Posted on November 12, 2014 by MarleneMB

“The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.” ~ Kenneth Blanchard

Have you ever had a leader that led by fear? Throughout my career, I encountered a few managers/leaders that led their teams by bullying, screaming and intimidation. What I observed is that the results were not positive ones.

Some of the team members would lie to them. They would say what the leader wanted to hear. Instead of telling the truth, they fabricated stories in order to avoid the backlash from this person. Or the team member would not go above and beyond what was required of him or her. He would simple do just enough to keep his job. This often resulted in poor performance of the team, marginal productivity and sometimes low sales results.

Fortunately for me, these types of supposed leaders were few and far between. A majority of the leaders I had the pleasure of working with allowed their employees/followers to grow. These leaders:

1) Shared the visions and goals of the teams

2) Outlined roles and responsibilities of each team member

3) Encouraged them to think outside the box

4) Showed them respect

5) Empowered them to get the job done

One of my managers/mentors led us in this fashion. The results he got were: team members were willing to work longer if necessary; helped other team members to get the tasks done; were more loyal to the manager and the company.

The managers/leaders that by fear often fell from grace. They were either fired or demoted, because of the bad results they attained from using intimidation instead of positive influence.

Many of us are called to lead. Practice using your power of persuasion, sharing your vision and empowering your followers to reach new heights. This is part of Living a Diamond Life, a Life of Purpose on Wisdom Wednesday.

Get your copy of Live a Diamond Life, Live a Life of Purpose: Diamond Cutters, today. Find out how my mentors and coaches helped me to be a better person, and how to apply these principles to your life.

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Invincible Monday – Tough Decisions

Posted on November 10, 2014 by MarleneMB

“You can’t make decisions based on fear and the possibility of what might happen.” ~ Michelle Obama

Making tough decisions is not easy. In one of my management positions in the corporate arena, I had to decide to let a direct report go. The company had changed the job requirements for that particular position. Training was provided to all the current employees to get them up to speed on their new responsibilities.

Yet this direct report was struggling in the position and falling behind on key projects. Although, we sat down and worked out a 90-day performance improvement plan (PIP), his performance did not improve. In fact, more clients were complaining at the end of the first 30 days of his PIP period.

His performance also affected his teammates. They had to shoulder more of the work due to his reduced output and inability to master the skills required to get the job done. It was stressful on the entire team. I knew I had no other choice but to release him from the position.

I informed the Human Resources representative of my intent. I informed her that the employee was a great person. He arrived at work on-time. He was very pleasant and respectful of others. She agreed with me that we would release him. We also agreed to include a note in his file that states he would be able to reapply for the position, should he improve his skills.

Making this tough decision was very difficult and stressful. I thought about the impact of this decision on him and his family. But I had to look at the big picture: his performance was affected the company’s clients, the image of the company and his teammates.

At the time I informed him of the decision, I told him that I admire him as person. This was a very difficult decision. I allowed him to share his thoughts and offer to write a recommendation letter for him based upon his current skills set.

As a leader, you will be faced with making tough decisions. Before you do here are some tips to help you:

1) Sit down and weigh the pros and cons of making this decision

2) Determine how will it affect others around you

3) Create a plan will you to keep moving forward towards your goals based on this decision

4) Identify and enlist the assistance of key people in carrying out your plan

It may be tough making difficult decisions, but it doesn’t have to be ugly. Do it with the proper ethic, be respectful of all involved and be honest. Good News: The former employee was able to find another job that he liked. We are still in contact with each other, today.

Here is to your success in leadership on Invincible Monday.

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