Focus.001

A fellow Toastmaster called me for some advice. He is a business owner that mostly works from home. His business is successful, but he is struggling with keeping focused. He and his wife recently had a second child. He keeps the children with him during most of the day.

He asked me how I stay focused. First, I reminded him that I don’t have young ones at home anymore. Yet, I still have bouts of distractions. We all do. He shouldn’t beat himself up about it. Besides children are a blessing…a lot of work, but still a blessing.

Here is what I recommended to him:

  1. Free up your time. Find a daycare that will watch the kids for a few hours or hire a babysitter for those hours. This will free him up to make phone calls or visit a client.
  2. Get out – go to Starbucks, Panera, the Library or somewhere he can get WiFi connection. I like going to these places at times to get away from my home office. I especially like the library because I can’t answer my phone there.
  3. Set your goals before leaving out. I make a point to set two or three goals I wish to accomplish outside. 
  4. Network with like minded people. Find a place like the University of Miami’s Launchpad. You can utilize the facilities, get WiFi connection, make phone calls and you can network with other entrepreneurs. 
  5. Say “no” to the things that do not align with achieving your goals. This was a hard one for me to learn. I love helping others, but I was taking a hit on getting things done for my business. Since I learning how to say “no” in a polite manner, I am getting more opportunities to speak and sell my books.
  6. Set a day for telemarketing and marketing. Your products and services won’t sell themselves. You have to make the effort to connect with potential clients.
  7. Outsource some of your tasks. Although I know how to create a website, it takes me hours or days to do so because I’m not an expert. I don’t have a passion for it. Find someone that knows how to create a website and understand your needs.

With all of that said, I reminded my peer that he must remember to rest and rejuvenate. We tend to neglect ourselves when we have the business owner’s hat on. If we are not careful, we run ourselves down and fall prey to illnesses. This is not good for us or for our family members.

Finally, I told him that I admire that he wants to be a great dad and doing all he could to become one. His children would appreciate more quality time versus quantity. A parent may be around physically, but absent mentally and emotionally.

Learning how to balance home life and work life is no longer a mother’s thing. More and more men are struggling with work and home life balance. I know he will be just fine as a parent and a business person.

If you find that you are struggling to focus, follow the seven tips above. Let me know how they workout for you. Happy Invincible Monday!

Find out how I learned these tips and more from my Diamond Cutters, My Mentors and Coaches, pick up a copy of Live a Diamond Life, A Life of Purpose: Diamond Cutters today.

Diamond Cutters

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older_driver

Learning to drive at an early age in New York City was a challenge. Unfortunately, I picked up the bad habit of being an aggressive driver. I can be one of the calmest folks you meet until I get behind a steering wheel! It took me a while to learn to relax and enjoy the ride instead.

Many of us are hitting the road to visit family and friends for the Thanksgiving Holiday in the USA. If you driving to your destination, I encourage you to relax and enjoy the ride.

Here are a few tricks I’ve learned:

Sherlock-Holmes-Three-Tales-of-Betrayal-Sir-Arthur-Conan-Doyle-Audiogo-audio-books

Audiobooks: It is amazing how time flies by when I listen to audiobooks. I love mystery stories, especially ones that keep me at the edge of my seat. Sometimes I get to where I’m going and I sit in the car just to hear the ending!


Educational CDs or Podcasts
: Driving gives you a great opportunity to improve your knowledge by listening to CDs share valuable information with you. Listening the experts in my field teaches me ways to make improvements in my business. They also generate new ideas that I may implement in my workshops.

© Copyright 2010 CorbisCorporation

Music:
There is no way that I feel aggressive when I’m listening to Neil Diamond, Luther Vandross or my faith based songs. But if I hear certain Rock, Reggae or Rap music…Uh oh! I leave these type of music for when I’m out of the car!

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Silence: There are times when I roll up the windows and simply enjoy the silence. I use this time to meditate and reflect on something that I want to better understand or master.

Leave Early: Heading out on the road with more than enough time to get to my destination, makes it less stressful for me. I don’t like being late; therefore, it makes sense for me to get a good head start to avoid being late.

Let the other guy or gal go by: bad-drivers-2If someone is riding my bumper, I no longer feel the need to let the New Yorker Marlene out! I just move over to the other lane and give them room…I also say a silent prayer for them and the rest of us on the road.

Now, I’m not saying that I have mastered being a great driver, but the more I practice these methods, the more I’m enjoying the drive. I hope these tips help you on your next drive. Drive safely!

If you don’t have a mentor or coach, learn about finding great ones. Pick up a copy of my book Live a Diamond Life, A Life of Purpose: Diamond Cutters.

Live a Diamond Life, A Life of Purpose: Diamond Cutters

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Until next time, keep Living a Diamond Life with much gratitude on Timeless Tuesday!

Leadiship By Fear.001

“The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.” ~ Kenneth Blanchard

Have you ever had a leader that led by fear? Throughout my career, I encountered a few managers/leaders that led their teams by bullying, screaming and intimidation. What I observed is that the results were not positive ones.

Some of the team members would lie to them. They would say what the leader wanted to hear. Instead of telling the truth, they fabricated stories in order to avoid the backlash from this person. Or the team member would not go above and beyond what was required of him or her. He would simple do just enough to keep his job. This often resulted in poor performance of the team, marginal productivity and sometimes low sales results.

Fortunately for me, these types of supposed leaders were few and far between. A majority of the leaders I had the pleasure of working with allowed their employees/followers to grow. These leaders:

1) Shared the visions and goals  of the teams

 2) Outlined roles and responsibilities of each team member

3) Encouraged them to think outside the box

4) Showed them respect

5) Empowered them to get the job done

One of my managers/mentors led us in this fashion. The results he got were: team members were willing to work longer if necessary; helped other team members to get the tasks done; were more loyal to the manager and the company.

The managers/leaders that by fear often fell from grace. They were either fired or demoted, because of the bad results they attained from using intimidation instead of positive influence.

Many of us are called to lead. Practice using your power of persuasion, sharing your vision and empowering your followers to reach new heights. This is part of Living a Diamond Life, a Life of Purpose on Wisdom Wednesday.

Get your copy of Live a Diamond Life, Live a Life of Purpose: Diamond Cutters, today. Find out how my mentors and coaches helped me to be a better person, and how to apply these principles to your life.

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TOUGH DECISIONS.001

“You can’t make decisions based on fear and the possibility of what might happen.” ~ Michelle Obama

Making tough decisions is not easy. In one of my management positions in the corporate arena, I had to decide to let a direct report go. The company had changed the job requirements for that particular position. Training was provided to all the current employees to get them up to speed on their new responsibilities.

Yet this direct report was struggling in the position and falling behind on key projects. Although, we sat down and worked out a 90-day performance improvement plan (PIP), his performance did not improve. In fact, more clients were complaining at the end of the first 30 days of his PIP period.

His performance also affected his teammates. They had to shoulder more of the work due to his reduced output and inability to master the skills required to get the job done. It was stressful on the entire team. I knew I had no other choice but to release him from the position.

I informed the Human Resources representative of my intent. I informed her that the employee was a great person. He arrived at work on-time. He was very pleasant and respectful of others. She agreed with me that we would release him. We also agreed to include a note in his file that states he would be able to reapply for the position, should he improve his skills.

Making this tough decision was very difficult and stressful. I thought about the impact of this decision on him and his family. But I had to look at the big picture: his performance was affected the company’s clients, the image of the company and his teammates.

At the time I informed him of the decision, I told him that I admire him as person. This was a very difficult decision. I allowed him to share his thoughts and offer to write a recommendation letter for him based upon his current skills set.

As a leader, you will be faced with making tough decisions. Before you do here are some tips to help you:

1) Sit down and weigh the pros and cons of making this decision

2) Determine how will it affect others around you

3) Create a plan will you to keep moving forward towards your goals based on this decision

4) Identify and enlist the assistance of key people in carrying out your plan

It may be tough making difficult decisions, but it doesn’t have to be ugly. Do it with the proper ethic, be respectful of all involved and be honest. Good News: The former employee was able to find another job that he liked. We are still in contact with each other, today.

Here is to your success in leadership on Invincible Monday.

Get your copy of Live a Diamond Life, Live a Life of Purpose: Diamond Cutters, today. Find out how my mentors and coaches helped me to be a better person, and how to apply these principles to your life.

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Treasures Thursday – Two Hearts

The day I knew you were formed in me
I knew I had gained another heart
A Heart that beats along with yours
A heart that skips a beat
Each time we part

This heart cries when you cry
Rejoices when you are happy
Breaks when you ache
Prays for you for heaven’s sake

It was rendered weak
When you carried your first cross
Of life’s unexpected blow
Unfair love loss

This mother’s heart
May dream for you,
Cheer for you,
Even May die for you

But it cannot Live for you, my son
Not even for a day
That’s the only way
These two hearts can stay

Marlene M. Bryan
10-23-14

 Live a Diamond Life! Live a Life of Purpose!