Before You Get Off the Hamster Wheel to Become An Entrepreneur: Get Over Your Fear of Failure

Posted on December 29, 2014 by MarleneMB

Pet Hamster Holding A Blank Sign — Image from launchalegacy.com.

“All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.”~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“How do you get off the hamster wheel?” This was a question someone posed to me this weekend. He stopped by my table at one of my book signing events. He asked me about the content of my book Living a Diamond Life, A Life of Purpose: Diamond Cutters. I told him that I wrote the book to encourage others to find a meaningful purpose to life; then, surround themselves with mentors and coaches to help them live that life.

We were discussing the fact that so many people stay in jobs that they disliked. This leaves them feeling unfulfilled in these positions. He said he admires people, similar to his friend, that are pursuing their passions. He explained that his friend had a lucrative practice as an attorney. His friend left the law business to become an entrepreneur in an area that involves his passion. His friend’s saved money from his law practice. Therefore, he does not worry about earning a large income in this new endeavor.

This gentleman told me that he personally trades in options. He also owns a rental property as added income. He felt that he could not pursue what he would like to do (he never did say exactly what that was). He needed the security of having enough money in the bank to sustain his lifestyle. I reminded him what we do in life is a choice. Whatever we choose to do, or not do, comes with consequences. We have to decide if we can live with those consequences.

My good friend Dr. Larry Benovitz, a psychiatrist and author of There is No ReDo: Strategies for a Lifetime, once said: “Many people are living behind prison bars they created themselves.” I thought about this quote as I spoke with my visitor. It didn’t seem that he was afraid of taking certain risks. He was trading in options…you can make a lot of money one day and lose it the next. Yet, I did sense a fear of failure or of the unknown from him in our conversation.

Early that day, I had listened to one of Tony Robbins’ sessions on Personal Power. Tony encourages the listeners to embrace failure. We should not be afraid of failing. As we push towards achieving our goals, we may experience failures. We should learn from them and get back in the game. If we don’t push pass fear of failure, we may never experience the joys of the manifestations of our dreams into realty.

Brigette Hyacinth, Director at MBA Caribbean Organization, wrote a great LinkedIn article, Leadership Lesson: The Wisdom of Failure, that gives valuable insight on how to approach failure in our lives. I recommend that you invest the time to read the article by clicking on the title.

Back to the questions: “How do you get off the hamster wheel?” You decide to do so after you examine:

What it is you want – Vision – The End Result
Why you want it – Purpose – If you don’t have a strong why, you won’t survive the failures
How do you get there – Mission – Build a Plan with goals that have timelines and milestones
What is the impact if you do or don’t pursue this Vision

A week before he died, my dad told me he regretted not living his dream of being an artist. He reminded me that we cannot take material things and money with us. Only our life’s experiences and our relationships with people. I don’t want this regret to happen to me. I want live my life doing what I understand to be my purpose. Don’t you?

Yes, we have to be realistic that we have to take care of our basic human needs.But how much are we willing to sacrifice in order to stay behind our prison bars or stay on the hamster wheel due to fear of failure. Prison bars that may exist because we bought into what the media or others tell us is a successful life.

Why not approach life like my 86 year-old friend, Lyle, does? He told me yesterday that he is happy because he realized earlier in life that “It is my choice.” He chooses to define what happiness and success mean to him.He experiments different ways to enjoy life by learning new things and not worrying about failures. He sees failures as life’s lessons. Because of this approach he has been able to enjoy many things in life. By the way, he was captain of his high school football team, a race car driver and married to a beautiful model! Sounds like an exciting life to me.

You will not be a successful entrepreneur if you are afraid to take some risks. Things don’t always work out the way we plan them. Take each failure by learning its lesson and build a stronger Will to achieve your Vision.

Here is to your Success in 2015. Remember to Live a Diamond Life, A Life of Purpose on Invincible Monday.

Find out how I learned these tips and more from my Diamond Cutters, My Mentors and Coaches, pick up a copy of Live a Diamond Life, A Life of Purpose: Diamond Cutters today.

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Invincible Monday – Tough Decisions

Posted on November 10, 2014 by MarleneMB

“You can’t make decisions based on fear and the possibility of what might happen.” ~ Michelle Obama

Making tough decisions is not easy. In one of my management positions in the corporate arena, I had to decide to let a direct report go. The company had changed the job requirements for that particular position. Training was provided to all the current employees to get them up to speed on their new responsibilities.

Yet this direct report was struggling in the position and falling behind on key projects. Although, we sat down and worked out a 90-day performance improvement plan (PIP), his performance did not improve. In fact, more clients were complaining at the end of the first 30 days of his PIP period.

His performance also affected his teammates. They had to shoulder more of the work due to his reduced output and inability to master the skills required to get the job done. It was stressful on the entire team. I knew I had no other choice but to release him from the position.

I informed the Human Resources representative of my intent. I informed her that the employee was a great person. He arrived at work on-time. He was very pleasant and respectful of others. She agreed with me that we would release him. We also agreed to include a note in his file that states he would be able to reapply for the position, should he improve his skills.

Making this tough decision was very difficult and stressful. I thought about the impact of this decision on him and his family. But I had to look at the big picture: his performance was affected the company’s clients, the image of the company and his teammates.

At the time I informed him of the decision, I told him that I admire him as person. This was a very difficult decision. I allowed him to share his thoughts and offer to write a recommendation letter for him based upon his current skills set.

As a leader, you will be faced with making tough decisions. Before you do here are some tips to help you:

1) Sit down and weigh the pros and cons of making this decision

2) Determine how will it affect others around you

3) Create a plan will you to keep moving forward towards your goals based on this decision

4) Identify and enlist the assistance of key people in carrying out your plan

It may be tough making difficult decisions, but it doesn’t have to be ugly. Do it with the proper ethic, be respectful of all involved and be honest. Good News: The former employee was able to find another job that he liked. We are still in contact with each other, today.

Here is to your success in leadership on Invincible Monday.

Get your copy of Live a Diamond Life, Live a Life of Purpose: Diamond Cutters, today. Find out how my mentors and coaches helped me to be a better person, and how to apply these principles to your life.

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Invincible Monday – Detours

Posted on November 3, 2014 by MarleneMB

Driving to one of my business meetings, I encountered a detour sign that took me a different way than I was used to taking to my destination. It forced me to reroute. This caused me some anxiety about getting lost and whether I would be late to my meeting. Then I started to notice the beautiful homes along this new route. There were also stately trees that formed a natural canopy over the road. Lovely flowers and shrubs spanned the neatly manicured lawns.

By the time I knew it, I was back on the way no longer detoured. I was able to get to my destination on-time with a new aspect about my detour. Along our journey to fulfilling our Diamond Life Purpose, we will encounter detours. They may be self-imposed or due to external circumstances. Here is some thoughts for handling these detours:

1) Don’t immediately go into panic mode.
2) Pay attention to what is going on around you.
3) See if there is something you can learn or admire about these detours.
4) Remember these are only detours.
5) Don’t lose site of your final destination…living your purpose.

My take away from this particular detour is that:

1) I learned a new way to get to my destination.
2) I love the views along the way.
3) Life detours will happen, but how I react to them determines my experiences.
4) I won’t give up moving towards living my Diamond Life!

Reflect on some of your detours as you travel in the direction of Living your Life of Purpose on Invincible Monday. What stands out? What lessons did you learn? Did you meet people that you appreciate from these detours? We all have one final destination in this physical life. The attitudes and views we take along life’s highways and by-ways, whether by detours or adherence, will determine how we Live a Diamond Life. Choose to have an open mind. Embrace the good while letting the bad fall by the wayside.

Singing “Life is a highway. I wanna ride it all night long!” by Rascal Flatts, and smiling on Invincible Monday.

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Wisdom Wednesday – Take a Hike

Posted on October 23, 2014 by MarleneMB

“The museum or hiking, which do you want to do today?” “ I don’t know. You pick.” “Hiking.” This was the conversation between my son and me this morning. I am visiting with him in California. He wants to ensure I’m having a great experience on my visit, so he has plan different activities for me. He doesn’t realize that I am quite happy just staying at his place. Nevertheless, I agreed to go hiking with him.

He drove us to Runyon Canyon. As he parked the car, I saw people coming down the trail sweaty and some were huffing and puffing. It was approximately 11:15 a.m. and the sun was blazing hot. Didn’t my son know his Jamaican mother was allergic to the sun! Not do damping the mood, I decided to make the best of our hike. I figured I have been running on the beach, running on the treadmill, swimming in the pool and riding my bike. How hard can this hike be? Was I in for it!

As we walked up the “hill” to me it seemed like a huge mountain. All my running, swimming and biking in South Florida was nothing compare to going up that hill in the hot sun! We passed other people coming and gong up the hill. Some with partners and some with dogs. One of the dogs looked just like how I felt…his tongue was hanging out and he was breathing heavily. I said: “I know how you feel!” As I passed him. Pausing a few times up, my son kept asking me if I wanted to turn back. I kept saying let’s see what’s around the corner. As we rounded one corner and I looked up I saw people walking on a level way above us. I asked him how they got up there. He said: “The trail leads that way.” At this I uttered: “Heck no! I’m not going up there. Are you crazy!”

I could tell he was concerned for me when he said we will turn back when we go to the garbage can at the end of the bend. But I didn’t want to disappoint him. Plus, I didn’t want him to think I’m a quitter. I sucked in my breath and said let’s keep going up. My son kept on encouraging me telling me that we are almost at the leveling part. I would stop to take a few pictures and then continued on. Really what I was doing was catching my breath and taking a rest.

When we got to the top I was delighted to see the beautiful view. We could see the famous Hollywood sign on one side and downtown Hollywood on the other. My son asked me: “Aren’t you glad you kept going? Don’t you have a feeling of accomplishment?” I had to agree with him. But l added that I thought he was trying to kill me at my young age!

This is a great lesson about our journey in life. if you want to see the best views, or reach your goals in life, you may have to climb some hills. It won’t always be easy; you may run out of steam. The pressure may seem unbearable. Don’t you quit! Keep climbing. Having someone in your corner to cheer you on, makes that climb easier. When you reach the top you have another person to celebrate your victory with you!

My friends Take A Hike towards your dreams. Live your Diamond Life. Live your Life of Purpose!

Invincible Monday – Check Yourself

Posted on October 20, 2014 by MarleneMB

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” ~ Jesse Owens

Self-discipline can be one of the hardest habits to form. Yet it is one of the keys to successful achieving one’s dreams. The word “discipline” derives from the Latin word “disciplina” meaning to teaching, learning. But “discipline” is more closely associated with punishment. Perhaps this association has made it hard for us to implement self-discipline in our lives. For to do so, may be viewed as punishing ourselves in our minds.

I’m working on changing my view of self-discipline from one of self-punishment to one of self-reward. In order to achieve my goals, as Jesse Owens’ quote points out, I need to practice self-discipline. It is far easier for me to put off writing an article, or to not make a phone call that opens doors to another speaking opportunity. But taking those easy route will get me no closer to achieving my dream of sharing my message with others.

Each time I am tempted to go the easy route by avoiding applying self-discipline in my life, I have to check myself. Why am I avoiding taking action that would help lead to my success? What pain am I avoiding? Is it real? What is the worse that could happen if I take action? What is the worse that would happen; if I don’t? A majority of the time, the answer is self-disciplining myself brings about positive outcomes.

My friends and associates, Check Yourself to ensure that you maintain your journey to success and being a great leader by applying self-discipline. It is a major key to Living Your Diamond Life, Your Life of Purpose!

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